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The Americorner with Ryan Minett: Farage advises anti-EU politicians in Germany to ease up

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Nigel Farage, a soon to be unemployed British man, has taken on an unpaid internship with the Trump campaign to keep himself busy. Photo by Michael Candelori

Ryan Minett

Yesterday, during a speech for the anti-European Union politicians of Germany, Nigel Farage, notorious British anti-European politician whose party, UKIP, along with others, helped the British to vote to leave the European Union, changed his tune when speaking in front of his German colleagues. “I have seen the light, and let me tell you, the future outside of the European Union is frightening.” This is a surprising change from a man who spent almost two decades in the European parliament bad mouthing the European Union. Citing his own personal experience, Mr. Farage went on to explain exactly what leaving the European Union meant for him personally.

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Job seeker Nigel Farage, will soon lose his job due to the UK’s impending exit from the EU. Which he orchestrated. Some of his skills include Microsoft word, populism and hate propaganda. His interests include the Queen, denouncing immigration and a quiet pint at the pub. Photo by Dweller

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I was a fool. Like Icarus, I flew too close to the sun and my wings melted. Let me speak plainly. If you continue down this path, you will all lose your jobs.”
The German politicians were clearly confused by Farage’s new rhetoric, especially his newfound reliance on facts and figures.
Estimates show that, in Germany alone, leaving the European Union would lead to an estimated 7.1% loss of jobs for anti-EU politicians, with that number rising to as high as 10.6% in Thuringen and over 12% in Brandenburg.

“This is a dangerous time to be unemployed in Europe. I myself have been forced to take the odd job in the United States just to keep up my elaborate lifestyle. I’m not saying you must support everything the European Union does, but you should realise that the EU is more important to your own well-being than any of us have ever considered.”

Neither Frauke Petry nor Jörg Meuthen could be reached for comment after the speech as they were presumably scrambling to form a new party-platform for the AfD.

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Frauke Petry upon realizing she might be made redundant: Photo by Olaf Kosinsky

The Americorner with Ryan Minett returns next week!

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